Of the Six Paramitas – Giving – Dana; Discipline – Five Precepts; Patience; Effort; Meditation; and Wisdom – the third paramita or perfection is patience, that elusive trait, which I have difficulty in giving to others and in giving to myself. As I was thinking about this it occurred to me that it is different than being tolerant, at least as I see it. Let me give an example to see if you can follow my thinking. If I tolerate something that someone is doing then I am ‘granting’ them or ‘giving’ them my permission to not do it correct. However, if I am patient with what they are doing I accept whatever they are doing as a gift from them. Does that make sense? In a way, one is something that I am giving and the other is accepting from them. I may be muddying the waters even more here, so let me try again. If, for example someone is moving slowly, I may tolerate it and in so doing I might say nothing externally but internally I am judging his or her actions as being slow. If I am patient with what they are doing, I accept it from them with no judgment, no thoughts of just getting through the ordeal, no condescending attitude, no ifs ands or buts.

With patience I am better able to see the value of what the other person is doing. I am better able to value the other person. And I am less likely to make judgments of superiority or inferiority.